I know that I do not have to explain myself to anyone, and often times I do not, but dear god some times I really want to put people in their place! I do my best to stay humble and as happy as possible, but pain is a game changer. It has taken a lot, and I mean a LOT of energy to not be angry all of the time and be able to deal with the people that I just cant stand. Dont get me wrong, I do not waste my time on those people because lets face it I wont live a full long life. I am careful with who I associate with but sometimes its people that I am related to that I just cant stand who they are as a human being. . .
Terrible I know, but I get soooooooooo very irritated with ignorance. If I can get my degree in my spare time while healing from brain surgery, cancer, having a baby and working full time, then ANY ONE CAN!!!!! I just dont generally have the patience for those people that constantly make excuses, or see no reason at all to better themselves. Time is so very precious, more so than most people care to realize. So why would you waste your time and not do productive things?? I know full well that my life expectancy is shortened by my health, so I take advantage of every moment that I can. Some people get irritated or judgemental about how I choose to spend my time and energy. Thats fine, I really dont care, but I do my best to not shove my ideals and belifs down others throats (this post aside ;-)). I just have a very hard time listening to certain people complain and make excusses for why they have not accomplished the things they want to.
Wow, Ive been holding that one in for a while and feel better and worse all in the same token. Life is not perfect, I understand that. But I do my best to get my happy ass outta bed every day and create a better life for myself and I really try to better myself as much as I am consciously able to. I know that I have anger problems, so I am working on it. I know that I have confrontation issues, but I am working on it every day. Pain or not, people depend on me and the world doesnt stop spinning just because I'm sick.
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